Dating Apps and The Single Quarantine Life
To all the single people out there during these trying times….let’s talk about dating apps. Are they good? Are they bad? How do we be courageous and not settle? Time to get down to the nitty-gritty. Here’s my first take: I think that they are intriguing and ridiculous at the same time. Yes, they give you the convenience to connect with people right from your phone. You can get a good taste of the person’s personality as well on an app like Hinge where they give you interesting prompts you can display. Bumble is where the women reach out first which is cool but at the same time, don’t women like the confidence of a man approaching them? Especially with COVID-19 still affecting so many people’s social lives, it’s difficult to meet someone new out and about without being creative. So dating apps bridge that gap now more than ever. Living in Boston currently, depressing weather has also affected people feeling lonely and unwanted. Living in the cold and dark early phase during a pandemic brings its challenges. But what about the negative effects of dating apps?
Not meeting someone in person first is becoming more comfortable than it has in the past. Texting is one of the main ways we communicate with each other and nowadays people are on their phones often. When it comes to dating, what makes it fun is the ability to be who we are and connect with someone who likes, challenges, or loves that. Over dating apps, we have time to think about what we write and how to respond without being in the moment. This is a huge disadvantage because we can often act like someone we aren’t. It makes it challenging as well because even if we are being our natural selves, we can be misunderstood and overthink messaging. When I meet someone at the bar or for a coffee, I am who I am and whatever I say I don’t have time to think about it, I just say it truthfully as myself that moment.
That is one thing I miss during COVID is being able to meet someone genuinely in person. Yes, we can video call or FaceTime on these dating apps, but it isn’t the same when every time I call creepy awkward silences take over. Awkward isn’t necessarily good or bad, but in person, you can truly see the person’s energy, facial movements, and body language. People also try to be mysterious on dating apps sometimes. Character is something you can see in person while on dating apps you are taking their word for it until you do see them in person. Dating apps are also based on looks through photos. Maybe someone is photogenic on the app or uses filters but appears different in person and vice versa. When you met someone in person it can be natural at the moment and you see what they look like while dating apps miss that piece. Being physically attracted to someone is part of the first impression that is important. If I’m keeping it real, I’m not a fan of dating apps. I’d rather meet someone in person over a drink and a good laugh or even just something spontaneous like bowling or even going on a wine walk.
Yes, I know what you’re thinking. “Yes, Evan dating apps aren’t the best but you can’t have everything in life.” This is true but what can we do to at least get through this quarantine dating life as a single person? Number one should always be taking care of and working on yourself. This is a good time to let dating take a back seat to you following your dreams, working on your skills, and doing things you haven’t had the time to do before. Think about the momentum you can build up during COVID-19 on your career, business, health, or finances. This is the time to do it. Secondly, sure, use the dating apps but turn notifications off. Don’t let the FOMO or being over-obsessed with your phone distract you from your goals and living a healthy lifestyle. Give yourself time throughout the day to check your phone and don’t keep your phone on you all the time. Thirdly, try having conversations with people in person if it isn’t forced (socially distanced with a mask, I know not easy). Whether it’s the coffee shop or grocery store, if something comes at the moment let it happen. If there is something nice you like about another person, introduce yourself, and say it. Remember, what you are and what you think about is what you attract. If you’re negative and engage in constant negative self-talk, that’s what you’ll get. If you’re kind, confident, and optimistic, that is what you will attract.
From my personal experience, I enjoy talking with people and getting to know others in person, but on dating apps, I still try to just be myself. Take it or leave it. If you don’t like what you see or feel about me no problem. Be confident in being who you are and don’t worry if you’re feeling lonely, that is natural and I certainly feel lonely sometimes. That is part of the process for not settling just to be comfortable. These dating challenges we have is an opportunity to learn something. Whether that be patience, gratitude for what we do have, believing, or perseverance. Take this time to work on being the best version of yourself and act like the person you want to become. If you believe it, the person who is meant to sweep you off your feet in this life will come at just the right time. Faith is believing when you can’t see. So keep on going, keep being awesome, and believe in your damn self! Cheers, y’all!
